When Close Enough isn’t Enough

People are quick to make assumptions, and that’s not always a bad thing. They have their place. They help us filter out unnecessary information, make quick decisions, categorize things, and move through the world efficiently.

Logically, they’re sound. Relationally, they blow.

When we make assumptions about others, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to truly get to know them. We place people into homemade boxes we’ve curated ourselves and create distance based on information that we don’t actually know is true. We are quick to assign labels that may not fit and assume intentions based on nothing but the stories our minds are telling us.

Sometimes the boxes we put others in are close enough, like squeezing your foot into a shoe half a size too small. It works, for the most part, but there’s still that subtle pain and misalignment.

And the thing is, most of us aren’t even aware that we are doing this.

It becomes second nature.

Depending on the relationship, it may not seem, or even be, a big deal.

Yet, over time, you may notice both distance and resentment start to build.

If this is something that may be impacting your life or relationships, I included a few reflection questions to explore:

• Is this based on a feeling or a fact?
• Does this person remind me of someone else?
• What emotional state am I in right now?
• Is there another way I could interpret this?
• Am I responding to what they said or how I feel about the situation?

I’m not saying assumptions are bad or always wrong. I’m saying that, like most things, they’re nuanced. They can absolutely be accurate and helpful. They can also be limiting and isolating.

This is simply an invitation to pause, reflect, challenge yourself a bit, and see what comes up.

Give others the opportunity to prove you wrong.

You may be pleasantly surprised.