A lot of us grow up believing that avoiding or distracting ourselves will make problems go away. When we’re emotionally overwhelmed, it’s easy to feel disconnected, frustrated, and unsure of what to do next. Avoidance can show up in many forms and it’s not always a conscious behavior. It may look like perfectionism, excessive sleep, comfort eating, withdrawing from others, or simply avoiding situations altogether.

In the short term, these strategies might provide relief, which is why they’re so tempting. But the issue is that, in the long run, they often make things worse, sometimes even bigger than before. This can trigger feelings that there’s something wrong with us, feeding the negative emotions and adding to the pressure.