Making and maintaining friendships as an adult is complicated — anyone who says otherwise probably hasn’t had to start over in a new city.

You’re basically a brand-new character starting your Season 1 — meanwhile, everyone else around you is deep into Season 5.

No matter how friendly or open you are — which can be intimidating in a room full of strangers — others may have already formed their plotlines, their connections, their go-to weekend plans.

Basically, they may not be looking to cast new characters — or even extras.

And let’s say you do make it past that awkward barrier of asking someone to hang out platonically—
those first few hangouts? Arguably more awkward than a first date.

At least with dating, there’s usually a point where someone brings up:
“Where is this going?”
Try saying that in a new friendship and see how fast it gets weird.

And when these new friendships shift or don’t progress, the Season 1 character might take it incredibly personally—while the Season 5 regular may not even notice.

This doesn’t make one of us the victim and the other the villain—it makes us both human, both with our own storylines.

This doesn’t mean it’s impossible to form new, meaningful friendships—but it does mean it takes more intentionality, more vulnerability, and a lot more patience than most people talk about.

The “extra” rarely says, “Hey, that actually hurt my feelings.”
Or, “That time we hung out? That meant something to me.”

And the Season 5 regular?
She may have been too caught up in her own plotlines—
romantic relationships, work, family, survival—
to realize someone new was trying to step in.

Maybe she never quite figured out how to write off regular cast members that should’ve left in Season 3.

And who knows…
maybe the extra ends up getting their very own spinoff.