To all my dog lovers and owners out there, let’s discuss the barking.

You know, when you’re in a meeting, on the phone, trying to focus, or so lovingly woken up at 3 AM by alarming shrills, growls, and woofs that naturally lead you to believe you are in real danger.

How many of us can painstakingly relate to hearing our dogs bark their absolute heads off to the point that we are all but forced to stop what we are doing, pause a meeting, get out of bed, and scope out what is going on. What are they barking at?

Nine out of ten times, absolutely nothing that we can see.

Yet there clearly is something going on. Now, how do most of us react to this situation? Excluding the dog trainers and people with preexisting training or knowledge, most of us default to matching their volume and instinctively screaming over their barks, pleading for them to stop. Maybe we’ve even scolded them and tried to “punish their bad behavior.” Maybe we try to distract them with a toy, treat, or belly rub, just for them to either deny the offering or reluctantly accept it, only to then resume their nightly howls. What gets them to stop? How do we communicate to them that danger isn’t present?

This reminds me a lot of anxiety and our relationship to it.

Human perception of threat isn’t all that different. We just don’t always externalize it in the same chaotic manner that dogs do. Instead, we love to internalize, to overthink, to ruminate, to obsess. We get stuck in thinking loops that provide us with no useful data. We harshly judge ourselves for getting stuck in the loop, only to return to it in case we missed something. We confuse people around us because we’re not being present, and we likely do not communicate what is going on inside of our heads. Maybe we do externalize it and end up yelling at something or someone who does not deserve it.

We could all benefit from dogs regarding their connection to big emotions and connecting to the present moment. Once dogs stop barking, they naturally calm down and resume normal functioning. Their bodies intuitively know it’s time to relax. Maybe they go to bed, maybe they play. Regardless, they don’t stay frozen in the fight or flight response like many humans do. They certainly don’t judge themselves for being scared or having an emotional reaction. They reconnect with the things that bring them joy, comfort, and safety. They allow their parasympathetic nervous system to kick in without thought interference. They play.

We could learn a lot from dogs.

As far as actually having to be the recipient of the loud barking is concerned, I sadly can’t help you there.